Grant Brünner: Bassguy

I’m getting cold feet about getting a job as an ad designer. The negative self talk is rearing its ugly head, and I don’t know if I have the balls to work through it. “What if I’m not good enough?” Well, judging by the last two pieces I’ve churned out, I’m not sure if I am good enough. I’m going through a real artistic slump right now. My schoolwork is uninspired. Episodes of TWR are uninspired. I’m not even writing and drawing for fun anymore. The past three weeks have been very depressing.

There is a quote posted outside the door of the head of my department. I cannot remember who it is attributed to, nor can I remember the exact wording of the quote. It says something to the effect of “Our biggest fear isn’t that we aren’t good enough. Our biggest fear is that we might succeed.” That rings true, but it doesn’t make me feel any better. Truth be told, I really want to coast for a while. I want to get a job at Best Buy, and veg out for a couple of months. The thought of making money from my creative endeavors actually makes me sick a little bit. This feeling that I am a complete and total hack is overwhelming me. I thought having a diploma would help calm my unease, but I doubt that will help much. I don’t think everything is going to be okay.

Maybe I’m just blowing this out of proportion in my head. I guess we’ll find out.