About Dreams
Do you dream of terrible things? I don’t. I dream of mundane, uneventful, and boring things. I dream about walking to the Mall. I dream about going to a restaurant. I dream about watching television. Instead of these things, last night I dreamt about someone that I care for being sexually assaulted. Instead of waking up at three AM to get a drink of water, I woke up at three AM in a cold sweat. I woke up to sheer horror; heart pounding in my chest. I woke up to the realization that it was all in my mind. The events of my dream never actually happened, but I still felt as if they had. I felt as if I had been hit in the face with a Louisville Slugger.
I still feel like it happened. I’m still kind of in shock. It has hit me hard because I have never dreamed about anything so horrific before. Never in my life have I been so scared. The worst dream I ever remember having was that a gorilla was let loose in my house. That is, without a doubt in my mind, the last nightmare I ever had. I had that dream when I was around ten years of age, and I haven’t had another one since then. I feel like I have been betrayed by my mind. Tricked into this fear by myself.
I feel for people that are frequently haunted by their dreams. Nightmares and night terrors. I was given a taste of what that is like, and I can only hope that I never have to experience it again. It is times like these when having a religion to cling to would be cathartic. I wish I had something to make it all go away. I fear that I will carry this with me until the day I die. I don’t know if I can convey how rattled I am.
